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Tom Cruise goes on high speed chases involving phalanxes of motorcycles and cars making hairpin turns and galumphing down stone steps in Istanbul, or is it Paris, or London? The filmmakers always tell you the city plus the country-like they really needed to say вЂњVienna, Austria,вЂќ so that you didnвЂ™t look at the Vienna State Opera house and think you were in Vienna, Virginia-but as in the James Bond and Jason Bourne films, the location is not of much importance, except insofar as it can supply landmarks for Tom Cruise and his enemies to fight in, race through and occasionally level. Only Tom Cruise can go into the water chamber because you have to be able to hold your breath for three minutes and seriously, who can do that besides Tom Cruise? He dives into a centrifuge chamber full of water to re-key a security system so that Benji can sneak into the top-secret data storage base above, and reprogram the something or other so that they can do that thing and get the thumb drive and breach the firewall, or something. He gets captured by some of these Syndicate people and hung by his wrists in a dank makeshift cell and beaten by a goon known as Janik вЂњBone DoctorвЂќ Vinter ( Jens HultГ©n).

Tom Cruise gets knocked around in this film even more brutally than in the last one.

These are really bad people! There could not be a worse time to tell Tom Cruise, вЂњHey, you stink, you canвЂ™t save the world anymore.вЂќ

But they did everything else on the list. Yes, thatвЂ™s it, the Syndicate, a group comprised of rogue agents who are sneaking all around the world blowing things up and killing heads of state and destroying major companies and taking candy away from little kids on Halloween, too! Just swooping down out of the sky, on jet packs, and stealing their candy! OK, they didnвЂ™t do that last thing. Something about Spectre, or Hydra, or The Syndicate. вЂњYour unorthodox methods are indistinguishable from chance,вЂќ a government official tells them, вЂњand your results, perfect or not, look suspiciously like luck.вЂќ So the IMF is disbanded, over the objections of Tom CruiseвЂ™s buddy and fellow butt-kicking super-agent William Brandt ( Jeremy Renner), who I guess is his superior, and-I have no idea what happened in this movie. He believes TomвЂ™s people are just a bunch of mavericks, meatheads too impulsive to send to Top Gun. The plot? Fine, the plot: CIA director Alec Baldwin wants to disband the IMF. I forgot to say that Tom Cruise works for the International Monetary Fund, sorry, the Impossible Mission Force (they keep saying 'IMF,' it's confusing). I'm going to call him Tom Cruise during the rest of this review of 'Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation' because even though his character has a name, Ethan Hunt, it is really Tom Cruise who makes his entrance clambering over a hill and exhorting his lovable tech guy Benji ( Simon Pegg) to use his hacking skill to open the door of a cargo transport plane that's about to take off with a belly full of nukes stolen by Chechen separatists or something, I don't know who they are, it doesn't matter, Tom Cruise is running, arms and legs pumping, hair flying, and holy mother of moley he's climbing onto the top of the plane and hanging to its underbelly as it takes off, with his bare hands! If American films have proved anything, it's that Tom Cruise is The Best: at pool, at flying jets, at mixing cocktails, at racing cars, at building an airtight legal case against brutal Marine colonels and southern gangsters, at whipping sexist bros into a frenzy, at representing football players in contract negotiations, at defending Earth against invasion by extra-dimensional monsters and, in the ' Mission: Impossible' series, at battling heavily armed bad guys while running and jumping and fighting and driving and hacking and playing вЂњFlight of the BumblebeeвЂќ on the violin if need be. You believed it, of course, because it was Tom Cruise doing the drawing. The Tom Cruise-ist moment in the history of Tom Cruise films was the one in 'Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol' where Tom Cruise's super-agent escaped a 9/11 style bombing of the Kremlin and a false arrest as the main suspect and reunited with his commanding officer and said he was pretty sure he spotted the real bomber while sneaking around the Kremlin, then grabbed a pen and in five seconds drew a sketch on his palm that looked exactly like the guy.

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